No Buddy and Barney for me

Years ago, my wife and I lived in Tombstone Arizona for about 6 months. As you probably know this little town is of historical significance, after all, who hasn’t heard of the famous gunfight that took place there.

Now it is a major tourist attraction, people from around the globe come to check out the OK Corral, the Birdcage Theatre, the cafés, and gift shops. One of the attractions is a ride in a replica of an 1800’s stagecoach. It takes you past the most important places with narration of the driver. The introduction just before departure always was, and may be still is, exactly the same including the introduction of the horses: “On my left-hand side is Buddy, and on my right-hand side is Barney.” One day he had two different horses, and he still referred to them as Buddy and Barney. He corrected his mistake, but it showed he was used to those same opening sentences.

And it made me think, wouldn’t he get tired of doing that same thing over and over again? I’m not sure how long he had been making those tours, but I got the impression that it had been for quite some time. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of times repeating himself and traveling the same short route, multiple times a day, year after year. Well, if he’s happy with it, more power to him but I couldn’t do it.

I get bored with routine stuff really quickly. Twenty years ago, I had an office job where it was more of the same every day. The pay wasn’t bad, the atmosphere was good, and the boss was a nice person. After two years I had the feeling that I was going to explode from boredom. So, I went to school and became a trucker.

Some people have asked me if driving long distances isn’t boring. No, it isn’t. I have always liked traveling, going places, and seeing new things. Of course, trucking is a job, its hard work and often there is no time to stop and look around.

But I enjoyed every mile, whether it was in the Southwest desert, the wide landscape of Wyoming or the rolling hills of Virginia. Around every bend there is something new to see and every state has its beauty. And the great thing about being a trucker is that no two days are alike.

Some people are happy with safe and uneventful routines, whether it is at work or otherwise. I remember having a neighbor who worked at the same office for 52 years. He rode his bicycle to work twice a day and he totaled about 36,000 return trips.

I have had a wide variety of jobs, from running a store, working at an office, and being an assistant auctioneer to driving a truck. I did a lot of different things, learned a lot and I consider that to be rich. I have encountered difficulties and not every job was a pleasant experience, but I can look back with satisfaction and pride.

Table and Restaurant manners

We just love going to a buffet restaurant if the food is good of course.

The downside of visiting a busy buffet is that often kids are running around. I can’t tell how many times I barely managed to avoid a collision and spilling food on the floor. And it’s not just the kids displaying lack of caution; quite a few adults make surprising moves as well. Even turning around quickly may cause an embarrassing situation.

While this doesn’t really bother me, there is something that annoys me to no end. There are always some individuals who load up their plates to the max, like they think the place may be sold out any minute now. And after balancing the pile to the table they take a few bites and discover that they don’t really like it. The plate gets pushed to the side and they go for something else. 
That kind of behavior I consider to be extremely rude and inconsiderate. Why not take a little from everything you like to try and go back for more if you enjoy it.

“Well, we’re paying for it,” they will say. No, you’re not. You are paying for the food you eat, not for the food you waste. I have seen a few places that have posted a sign to that effect, perfectly reasonable in my opinion. Wasting food like that is costing the restaurant money and does not help to keep prices low. 

And wasting food in general is totally unacceptable in my book.

Now I won’t even mention all those people who are short on table manners. I was taught to chew with my mouth closed and not to talk with my mouth full. It is basic etiquette that is lost on many eaters these days. Have you seen the ones who put their arm around the plate like they are afraid that someone will try to take it from them? And of course, every now and then there is this individual who is loud and obnoxious in attempt to spoil the dining experience for others.

I always thought that having a meal together is not just about food, it is also social thing. A while ago my wife and I went to a nice place and shortly after we arrived a family of 3 sat down next to us. All three of them pulled out the cell phone and all the way through their meal they didn’t speak to or looked at each other. They took bites between texting and couldn’t keep their eyes off the screen. I wonder if the even appreciated the food. However, people’s addiction to cell phones is food for another story.

Over the years I have been to hundreds of restaurants and with a few exceptions I always had a good meal and acceptable service. I’m making this statement to let you know that I’m certainly not a notorious complainer. And I’m not a picky eater either. 
But I do want good value for my money.

No jokes and riddles

I like to talk to people, and I pride myself on the ability to get a conversation going with just about anyone. And it doesn’t matter if I talk to a guest at our place or to a total stranger in the grocery checkout line.

Of course, starting a conversation is just one thing; to keep it going it takes another interested party. Some people are just not very talkative and since I don’t want to press on, I give up as soon as I get no meaningful response.

Sometimes it happens that the other person is more than willing to talk, but soon I am the one who wants to get out of it. This for instance occurs when I’m facing a big talker. You probably know what I mean; they make more money than anyone else, their cars are faster, their kids are smarter, etc.

I have a cousin who is like that. He used to visit my dad and I and all night we had to listen to his over the top heroics. And with each passing hour his tales became wilder. I think nobody could blame us for making excuses so he would stop coming over.

And then there are the ones who insist on using foul language. It is amazing how many, especially young people, there are that cannot build a single sentence without using the F* word at least once. For them I have a simple message: If you can’t talk to me properly then don’t talk to me at all. A few times I hit some guy with that statement, and they all reacted like I was the one being rude.

It can get worse though. There are some individuals who like to tell jokes. Now I don’t mind a good joke, as long as it is genuinely funny. And it has to be fresh, some of them I have heard I don’t know how many times over the last two decades.

The company sent me out to get a truck and I had to ride the bus to El Paso. As soon as I sat down at the Greyhound terminal a middle-aged gentleman took the next seat. First, he seemed to be nice enough but then the jokes started, and they were absolutely not funny. I wanted to be polite, so I tried to come up with some sort of smile every now and then. I probably shouldn’t have done that because I’m sure it encouraged him to continue.

Then after a while it was time for some riddles: Do you know the difference between…. That is stuff for kids, not for grown-ups and there is very little that annoys me more than that. Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer, so I just told him that I had to go to the restroom. I stayed there for a long time, hoping that in the meantime the pesky gentleman would find another victim. No such luck, as soon as I re-appeared, he jumped on me again like a dog on a T-bone. Do you know……

A few minutes later the loudspeaker announced boarding of the bus to Los Angeles. He hastily said goodbye and disappeared into the crowd. The sigh of relief I let out could be heard within a 20-foot radius. I realized though how lucky I was that he wasn’t traveling on the same bus. If he had been, I’m sure I would have stopped him in his tracks at some point, even if I had to be rude about it. And being rude is not in my nature.

Next time I meet someone who starts telling riddles I will have for him too: Do you know what the difference is between a very annoying person and one who tells riddles? Answer: There is no difference. Have a good day.

They don’t get it.

Many years ago, I worked for an auction company and frequently I would visit the homes of potential customers and give them an appraisal.

Every now and then something like this would happen.

Me: Before I give you my figure what do you think the market value is?

Client: No clue. I have absolutely no idea what it could sell for.

Me: To my best knowledge I would say that it will probably go for between $1,500 and $2,000.

Client: That's all? I thought it would be at least $3,000.

Me: Wait a minute. You just told me that you have absolutely no idea of its market value.

Client: Well, I don't. But I do know that it should be more than what you are saying.

Or how about this one?

Me: I estimate it will sell for between $2,500 and $3,500.

Client: So, we can get $3,500 of it you think?

Me: Like I said, I estimate it is between $2,500 and & 3,500.

Client: But there’s a good chance it will be $3,500.

Me: There is also a chance it will be $2,500.

Client: How big is the chance that it will be $3,500.

Me: There is no answer to that question. Auction prices depend on a number of factors, some of which we have no control over. We know the item, the current market and we have years of experience. Based on those we make an appraisal which is not an exact science. Sometimes an item sells for way more than the appraised value, simply because there are two, or more, bidders who want it.

And it also happens that the interest in an item is lackluster, and it goes for less than we expected.

Client: So, can it also be more than $3,500?

Me: Yes, but that would be an exception, don’t count on it.

Client: If we can get $4,000 for I’ll be happy.

Me: I think your expectations are too high. May be you should just keep it. I like to do business, but there is a 85% chance that you will be a dissatisfied customer.